How to turn a Woman into a Little Girl.

I’m probably one of the most independent people anybody would ever know. I’ve always been the person to do it, and fly solo while making it happen. However, there are times where the overachiever in me takes a back seat to the needy little girl who is lost, confused, and in an emotional state of disparity.

So how is it that one can stumble upon this little girl? Taunt me with the one thing I cannot obtain by my sole efforts: love. She rears her depressive head at the low melody of the typical love song describing the ideal perfect love affair that lives in our deep-seated psyche only to be brought up by these songs. She comes out playfully at any slight notion of someone who she thinks is going to be there to love her unconditionally and be there for her as her guardian from the dark in the night. She appears, crying, when she see that the one she fell in love with didn’t reciprocate the emotion.

Yes, she’s the little girl that lives in all of us; the one that pains us internally to see hurt and crying, while we try to act as the protective barrier to the outside by concealing her from anybody who may spot her and take advantage of her vunerability.

The little girl that lives in all of us women is yearning, wanting, waiting, needing, and longing to be held by the protector that is supposedly designated for never leading her astray and breaking her trust. A message to the gentlemen passing by: don’t make her cry; she is precious and deserves to be loved as anyone else.

(This post was taken from The Somewhat-Positive Social Commentary, a blog by yours truly.)

Attraction

I know its not just me when I say we all have a certain type of man that happens to always come your way. The bad part about it all is the guys good women attract. I have always wondered why are all the closet weirdo’s sent my way, and why since an early damn age have they been in my damn mix.

I have gotten lucky with the current relationship I am in. We are happy, but for GOODNESS SAKE CROSS YOUR DAMN FINGERS FOR ME! Relationships are always so good and then BOOM the motherf*** changes his mind and decides to show who he really is.

I have always wondered if there is an invisible sign on my forehead that says “HEY DOUCHEBAG TALK TO ME, LIE TO ME AND TREAT ME BAD AFTER 2 YEARS OF GREATNESS”. Where are the good men going? who are they approaching? Are they too shy? Are they all short with big foreheads, bad teeth,
and ugly shoes, with acne????????????

I need to find this out, I NEED answers. Why do women attract certain types of men ALL the time? and are we running the good ones away? What types do you attract?

Truly, Drunken Stupid Love.

Instead of the usual format of some crazed love story, I’d rather touch upon something all of us ladies feel at some point. What is it with us wanting what we can’t have, and running from those who like us?

I can attest to the point. I mean, I have my reasons for not wanting to date some of the people that like me (girlfriends, baby mama drama, large age distance, lack of conversational skills). But why is it, instead of choosing the guy that will pretty much do anything for me, I’d rather go for the guy who doesn’t even notice me flirting.

I notice that with alot of girls. And honestly, ladies, its stupid as fuck. I wish I could tell you why I, or any of the rest of us do it, but I can’t.

Just know that this behavior qualifies as drunken stupid love.

My Puerto Rican

When I agreed to be an author on this blog I said that I’d write about someone who was special and treated me right, for every sucka I have written about.

OK, so my girlfriend and I would meet my cousin’s in Miami in October every year. The first couple of times I was underage so the 3rd time I went I was super juiced and excited about being able to show my ID (I was 22, I didn’t go the year I turned 21) if anyone ever asked. My confidence level was on fire.

Overall I had been having a good time, I had partied with a few celebs and got free alcohol and free VIP lol. One evening just like every evening my bff and I got a table outside of Jerry’s Famous Deli on Collin’s ave. We are having a conversation about how much we need some (sex) and how long it’s been, I told her it’s been so long I was getting fever’s lol. (My first boyfriend and I are not together at this time…that story later:) )

While looking at the menu and shooting the breeze, some random guy comes up and sits down with us. I smile and greet him, then I kindly ask him what his name is…

Him: “PRINCE”

Me: Seeing the shiny gold teeth in his mouth “Nice teeth (giggle) Prince”

Him: Thinking it was a compliment “Thanks”

He starts jibber jabbing about some random stuff and I see this GORGEOUS Puerto Rican man, approaching our direction. At this time I want to push this tiny gold teethed leprechaun into the street when the guy comes and sits with us.

PR Guy: “Hey ladies, my friend bothering you guys?”

ME: “Hey, na not really, what’ your name?”

PR Guy: “Anthony, yours?”
We tell him our names. I am looking at this man’s face and damn near drooling, he had the perfect lips, eyes ( thick eye lashes) and cutest nose. His friend in the mean time is like:

“Ladies why don’t we go to the beach and drink some henny?”

Me: “I don’t drink hennessy, and I don’t drink with random guys like that”

Him:”Whaaat? YOU TRIPPIN!”

My bff: “Hennessy puts hair on your chest, does it look like we need hair on our chest”

We laugh.

Anthony: “Man they don’t drink, they can walk on the beach without drinking…Anyways have you had the turkey burger here with onion rings?”

Me: “No, is it good?”

Anthony: “It’s GOOD yo”

Prince: “Yo! You about to stay here and eat?”

Anthony: “Yep, I’m hungry”

little man gets up and says:

“LATER!”

We all say bye and by this time the waiter is finally there. I order the turkey burger omitting the onion rings. He orders the same with the onion rings. My bff orders a steak or something and we continue to talk. Anthony tells me his friend was salty cause he wanted to talk to me and he felt like Anthony blocked. I told him I’d never talk to his friend on a good day anyway. He tells me I am beautiful and he had to talk to me.

After talking, laughing, and eating together I had to do the best friend bathroom break. We go to the bathroom and discuss this man for a couple of minutes, my girl gives me thumbs up. We wash our hands and get back outside. He is standing outside the restaurant waiting.

Me: “I’m gonna find our waiter so we can pay for our food…Dinner on me?”

Anthony: “No I already paid the bill. Can I walk you to where ever you are headed?”

I pinch my girl and smile: “Well thank you, how sweet”

bff: “Thanks you are officially my new brother…lol”

I told him we were going to our hotel to get our stuff and catch a cab to Ft. Lauderdale, to the resort we had (Beautiful little villa). So we walk down the way to our hotel and grab our stuff, He and I come outside and chill on the patio of the hotel while my friend talks to this dude my cousin hooked her up with. While looking at each other in the eyes we realize we have and amazing connection and he hugs me.

Anthony: “Can I see you again before you leave?”

Me: “Of course, if you don’t have plans for the night, why don’t you come out to Ft. Lauderdale with us” (irresponsible I know)

Anthony: “I would love to”

We continue to converse and connect when my friend lets me know she was ready. He picks up my bag and hails us a cab. My girl gets in the front and we get in the back. I am leaning on him and he falls asleep listening to the slow jams. The cab driver ask us a question and startles Anthony. I laugh cause he jumps and he tickles me. I lay in his lap and look up at him and he puts his head down to my level and kisses me….SPARKS FLY AND I SEE STARS! We ended up kissing until we got off on our exit. I give the guy directions and when we get there I hand him the money. Anthony pushes my hand and pays the man. We thank him once again.

Once up in the villa I give him the tour. He gives me the thumbs up and we go to my room and talk, and kiss and gaze into each others eyes. He starts rubbing my arms and kissing me all over. After the best foreplay ever I look at him and say.

“I don’t even have condoms”

“I have one in my wallet… I think”

He looks in his wallet and there is nothing there. We are bummed.

“Let me ask my girl”

 I ask my girl

“No, but Sean left a pack on their bathroom counter on their side”

I get the condoms and take them to my room, and it’s on. We end up having mind blowing sex, he is speaking Spanish to my in my ear, his is holding my face, looking me in the eyes,kissing me…just really passionate.

After it is all done we get in the double head shower and washed each other. We ended up having sex again that morning and went and got breakfast. He stayed with me at the resort until like 5pm, then we headed back to south beach for dinner with the fam. We caught a cab back and we parted after kissing and making plans to meet up later to go to the beach. He gives me his number and walked in the opposite direction to get to his hotel. I am putting his number in my phone to save while turning at the corner and we literally bump into 3 guys.

“Hey”

I look up, and smile almost dropping my stuff.

“How you ladies doing?, my name is Kanye West”

“No shit! lol”

We started laughing and talking to him, John legend and his road manager Don. Don and my bff discover they have the same birthday, Kanye invites us to the Loews later so I give him my contact info and we part.

Later that night we went to Loews and Don was at the bar sans Kanye he told me his room number and told me he wanted me to go up there and meet him or some shit, I wasn’t buying. I went up the elevator anyways and once I got to the floor I say to myself, “WTF are you doing?”. I push the button to go back to the 1st floor and I get down there and tell my girl I’d meet her at the hotel. She decides not to stay and told me she wasn’t feeling the situation either. We end up going to a club nearby and upon going outside to get fresh air I see Anthony walking buy the club with prince. He sees me and gives me the air lift hug. I get a kiss on my cheek and his friend who had kept walking hollers “COME ON MAN!” I smile and he tells me to call him in the morning so he can take me to this Spanish restaurant nearby before his flight left the next evening…I agree.
We get so drunk that night my bff and I have to hold each other up until we get to the hotel.

The next morning my cousin and my best friend get in the car to go to Ft. Lauderdale. As we are making a right turn, my bff says from the front seat:

“There goes Anthony”

I duck because I am in the club clothes I was in last night and he was waiting for traffic to pass to get across to our hotel looking SOOO damn good. I tell my cousin to turn and I planned on calling when I got dressed, after we turned unnoticed by him, I look through my phone to call him and tell him I’d be back, but no Anthony in my phone book. I look for “A”, I look for tony, I look through every name in my book and panic. We are now too far away and the traffic going back was bumper to bumper. I sigh and put my head down. FUCKING KANYE!

Later my girls guy friend told us some guy came by the hotel asking has he saw me and he gave no information. TYPICAL GUY!!!!!!!!!

That night I sat outside of our hotel and the song “falling” by mya came on and I cried, it was the song that was playing in the car on the way to FT. Lauderdale.

I never saw him again.

This guy is the only guy I have seen that even resembles that beautiful, confident LEO LION:

The Puerto Rican

   So if you read my post “From the O” towards the middle I talk about a guy that I started ”talking to” while I was still in a relationship so we just said we would be friends unless something changed. Well I broke up with my crazy thug boyfriend and we started dating. He was the 1st of my own kind I dated. I always dated an AA(African American for those who dont know) guy. Well anyway so we started dating, we had so much fun together. We would talk all night and spend basically all day together on the weekends. I was falling hard for him, so hard I lost my virginity to him. It was a very interesting experience. It wasnt bad or anything, I didnt know what bad sex was until later in life . But I will never forget it because while we were *AHEM*  my friend was in the room watching Butterfly Effect. So now when ever I see that movie on I giggle.

   So far everything was great until the day after we had sex. I was on my way to the hotel and my friended text me saying she need to tell me something important when I got there. I thought it was nothing serious so I didnt text her back. I get to her room and she grabs me and pulls me in the bathroom and sits me down on  the tub.

Our Convo:

Her: Ok so promise me you wont scream when I tell you this.

Me: Umm ok what’s going on

Her: Well I know how much you like <guy’s name>  and I thought I should tell you that he cheated on you before ya’ll had sex.

Me: What? What you been he cheated? With who. and why are you telling me this shit now if you know about it before!

Her: He had sex with <chick’s name> two days before he had you. He didnt even realize that you were a virgin. I mean he could tell you were new at this but yea.

Me: Are you fucking serious?!! She is my friend and she knew we were dating.. That’s so fucked up shit. I cant believe this shit. I feel like such a fool and you wanna tell me after the fact?! thanks for the fucking warning. Your my best fucking friend and you could tell me until after the fact. FUCK YOU!

   I storm out the bathroom get my purse and leave the room. I never been so humiliated in my life. I started to cry running to the elevator. My friend was running after me crying herself, which I dont know why it’s not like I neglected to tell her, her boyfriend cheated on her with one of her friends. Karma is a bitch(you’ll see why later). So the elevator doors and who do I see? Him. I was speechless and started crying even harder. He came towards me and put his hand on my cheek asking me what was wrong, why I am I crying ect. I had no words and step away from him and tell to leave me the hell alone you cheating bastard. I should have slapped him right then an there but I didnt know what else to do. I get on the elevator and he is screaming banging on the elevator doors “Oh my god, baby no come back, im sorry , come back, im sorry, im sorrryyyy”. I look up at him running around trying to find the stairs.

   I get outside and call a cab, still crying the bell boys were staring at me sitting on the bench just  bawling my eyes out. The cab pulls up I hop in and go home. He was calling me non-stop for a good 5 hrs. I didnt return any of his calls nor did I return my friends calls until later that night. I could talk to anyone, for the rest of the day I didnt speak. I never been hurt like that before, especially by someone I loved. I was pissed that my own friend didnt give me the heads up so I wouldnt make bad choice as this one.

    Later that night had about 15 missed calls for him and 7 of them were voicemails. I called my friend back after I checked my phone and saw she called one last time. I was hesitant in calling but I wasnt going to ruin a friendship over something like this.

Our Convo:

Me: Hey, you called me?

Her: Oh my god I called you like 5 million times, I’m sorry, Im really sorry. I know that I should have told you told you what happened between them before all of this. I wanted to but I didnt know how to tell you.

Me: You know what I dont give a fuck anymore. Im done with him. I cant believe this, he told me he loved me, he didnt put the line on me, you know the “if you love me you’ll have sex with me” line. He didnt do any of that. I knew I was ready I wanted it to be special it was kinda special. But he fucks her??!!! WTF!!

Her: I know, I understand. I would be heart broken if my boyfriend cheated on me with a friend. And I am sorry for not telling you sooner. I wish I did now. What are you going to do?

Me: I forgive you. I dunno what Im gonna do. I’ll meet up with you tmrw so we can go to work together.

   The next day I met up with her at her room and “he” was there with her boyfriend. I tell her lets go and we leave out and head for the mall. Before we could even reach the elevator he runs after us and asks to talk to me alone. I give him the stink eye and start to walk off. He grabs me by the arm and says “I’ll have to talk to him sometime”. I yank my arm back and tell him ” I dont have to do shit, you aint nobody”. He puts his hands on his head  walks away.

    We get to work, everything was cool and we were busy as hell that day, we made our quota plus some. We are closing down the shop and my friends boyfriend walks in with my now ex behind him.  I was pissed, I just wanted to get the store close and head to the crib. I wasnt up for any drama at this point but I knew there was not getting around it. IM sitting on the counter top while she counts the 1st register and my ex comes up to the desk and pulls me back by my waist and says we really need to talk. I roll my eyes and push him off of me and say fine. I hop off the counter and take him in the breakroom.

Our Convo:

Me: What do you want?

Him: I cant have us be like this, not talking and shit, it pisses me off.

Me: How is that my fault?

Him: Well you didnt return any of my calls, so thats us not talking

Me: You cheated on me, you expect me to just let that shit go and be happy go lucky with you again I DONT THINK SO!

Him: I didnt mean to do it. I mean I wasnt thinking straight, I love you girl and I never loved a girl before. I dont know what was on my mind, I was drunk and I guess one thing led to another…

Me: Just stop right there, dont give me that “i was drunk” bullshit. You just wanted to get your dick wet and she just happened to be there with you. Or am I giving you to much credit.

Him: Look baby, it happened and Im truly sorry I wish I could take it back

Me: Well so am I, this conversation is officially over.. have a nice life with whats her face not my friend anymore because she sleeps with my boyfriend BITCH

Him: Dont be like that, please! I LOVE YOU, dont make me beg for another chance because I will, I dont care who sees.

** Ok at this point you can either agree or disagree with my descision. Personally I dont likie Cheaters never have and never will**

Me: I dont care if you beg, I dont let people fuck with my emotions and just let that shit go. As of now this relationship is over.

    I come back to the front of the store and ask if my homegirl was ready to go because I wanted to hit up this party our friend was having. She gets her stuff and we dip out. The whole time the guys were there and went to the party with us. I was fliriting my little ass off with all the guys, dancing the night away, playing pool. Where on our way out the house when my drunk ass ex, grabs my arm and pulls me on him and tries to make a scene. One of the guys I was talking to at the party stepped in and pulled him off of me. My ex wasnt having that and punched dude in the face, mind you I didnt really know the guy who helped me out but it turned in to this full out brawl!

     I was screaming at them to stop but they wouldnt. I couldnt do shit, I wasnt about to be my self in jeporday because he wanted to act a fool and fight random people. The next few weeks my ex stalked me. He would show up at my job, randomly come to my friends hotel room, I would see him everytime I went to the mall, he was everywhere! He called me everynight for the next 6 months until he moved back to Tampa. THANK GOD!!!! As I thought life was getting better and I started to forget about him. Something horrible happened to my friend.

    Remember when I said karma was a bitch well it is. After my ex left her man started acting stranged. Hie bestfriend left him out the blue because he couldn’t stand “us” not being together anymore, well according to him. <her boyfriend’s name> met this girl who happened to be a hooker/ stripper that was really “cool”(SKETCHYYYYYYYY). My friend was a tad bit gulible and bought this girl in to her “place” and got her some new clothes. She came to her with no money, no ID, dirty clothes. I would have been stamped SUSPECT on her forehead. Well while she was at work one day he and the chick were hanging out with his friend. When my homegirl gets back to her room all her shit was gone! Her clothes, shoes, credit card, new apple notebook and ipod! Shit just vansihed and so did her boyfriend and the girl. After that day she never saw him again. They were suppose to get married too. He cleaned her out, and I thought what my ex did to be was bad. SHITTTTT!!! Luckily he was caught in NY when they traced her credit card to a hotel he was stay at, along with the “girl of the night” Life’s a bitch you live and you learn.

Men That Piss Me Off

Ok I know this isn’t exactly a story but I had to write it. I know that you ladies can relate to hating the following men:

1. The Cheater, the one that makes you believe that he loves you and wants to give you the world but is secretly fucking your bestfriend.

2. The Thug, the one that lives his life in the street making that “guap” gives you all the things you want plus more. But is sent to jail over a drug bust and leaves you with all his debt because you share your lease on the apt, condo, house.

3. The Wife Beater- The one that seems cool in the begining but then turns around and beats your ass for doing something so small like fold his socks wrong.

4. The Asshole, the one that is cool as hell but treats you like shit infront of his friends and makes you feel like your nothing. Its ok to be an asshole and hold your own but dont be an ass to your woman!

5. Mr. Nice Guy, the one that lets go of every little thing, wants to give you the world but at the same time cant stick up for you because he cant stick up for himself

6. The Stoner/ Couch Potato, the one that rather smoke weed/watch tv all day than get a good job and leaves you stuck where you have to quit school and get two jobs to pay the bills.

7. The Freak, the one that is good in bed, but after a while it gets old and he wants sex everyday and leaves your cooter sore. And then leaves you for someone younger because you would “give him” what he needed.

8. The Baby Daddy, the one that lays you downs tells you he loves you but then leaves you when he finds out your pregnant and gets pissed off when you find a new man who wants to take care of you and his child.

9. The Dead Beat Dad, the guy who pays child support but isnt really there for his kids physically because he rather run the streets with his homeboys or girlfriend than be with his child. OR the guy who doesnt give two scoops of poop about you or the child and doesnt pay child support.

10. The Bullshitter, the guy who talks a good game but cant back it up for shit when shit hits the fan and he gets caught out there.

11. The Sensitve Guy, he’s great when it comes to listening to you and worring about your feelings, and doesnt have a problem crying infront of his woman. This is cool at 1st but after a while it gets old and you call him a punk and that you want to date a real man who is senstive but not to sensitive that you are babying him everytime something wrong happens to him.

 

This list goes on and on…Which guy do you hate the most? Add a type that you hate in the comments and I will add them to this post!

 

*this was out of sheer boredom*

I know it doesn’t relate…but -

…I feel the need to help a fellow lady help us all out. Ok, so many of us are beauty junkies who pretty much spend most of our time at the mall looking in Sephora (that is, if we’re not in the shoe store or Victoria’s Secret).

Anyways, this girl, from the girlie site mentioned in my last post, has a new concept she’s trying to pitch to Smashbox, and I must say, I freaking LOVE the idea. I love it so much that I just had to post it!  Here’s a hint on the concept: Stylish Convenience.  Ok ladies, here it goes:
beautyguru.html?pbb_qsi=3419059&=EP_309_PBB_Smashbox2_309_PPIMEMAIL

So if you love the concept as much as I do, vote for her. It shows that she worked really hard to put it all together and we could at least show some DSL Ladies love to her!!!

(*note* WordPress would NOT let me post the video…so sorry about that. But please do go vote for her!)

Attack of the Crazy-Creepies…

Ok, now I can’t say this has anything to do with my dating experiences, however, it does have something to do with cyber-pick-ups.

So over the weekend, I bought the last pair of a particular BCBG shoe, and being the shoe freak I am, I posted photos of the shoe on my fave girly website, and facebook. Not 5 minutes after posting on my fave girly website, I get this pervish message from this random guy (who shouldn’t be on there because it’s a GIRLY website), flirting with my feet. Yea, you read right: the man has a foot fetish. The message included a bit of biological information about himself, and requests for me to take photos in various forms of stockings/nylons with and without the shoes.

I reported him.

But yea, what is up with the Crazy-Creepies that somehow keep locating me and are pervisly contacting me via cyberspace. I get random messages on different sites from these cyber-pervs saying random things ranging from “you need to get to know me” to many more explicit things, and then they end up resorting to name calling when they are blocked, ignored, and elsewhat (yes, they will go create new profiles…weird).

Hey, I will never go out on a limb to say I’m the hottest thing around, but I will come out and say there needs to be some kind of protection for me and other women who deal with these creepies because obviously website privacy settings don’t work for shit.

Perfect Stiff Drink

Caribou Lou-Tech N9neThe perfect Stiff party drink that will get you lifted.. Its So good it’ll make you slap yo mama!

Caribou Lou:

1 koolaid pitcher

1/2 the bottle- 151 bacardi rum

1/2 the bottle-Malibu Cocconut Rum

Remaining pitcher- Pineapple Juice & Ice

Serve in Martini Glass no garnish needed.

 

Tip: Dont chug, it will sneak up on you ass, then next thing you know you be in the pool fully clothes  deathtone singing the Peanut Butter Jelly Time song

Snatched up the street.

Ok this has nothing to do with crazy ex boyfriends at all. But I wanted to take the time out and tell a story I will never forget and think that everyone one should hear and watch herself.

One bored hungry night, I decided to walk to the  corner store to get some chips. I regularly did this on nice nights which was everynight in Florida. Well this particular night was different. So I get off the phone with my boyfriend(now ex) and was about 3 blocks away from my apartment, when i noticed that someone was walking heavily behind me. I glance back and there was this about 6′4 black guy walking behind me smoking a black and mild with a gray hoodie on with his hood over his head. I walk alittle faster and as I was going to walk across the street since i hate when ppl walk behind me like that at night I turn to look to see if cars are coming and out the corner of my eye I see this dude running towrds me!

Me at this moment ” WHAT FUCKKKKK RUNNNNNNNN”

I jet my ass across the street and he’s on my tail. I’m screaming like a maniac. He catches me and pulls me by my arms almost throwing me to the ground in the middle of the street and rips my sweater. He pulls me close to him and breathes heavily on my neck.

Me at this moment ” IM GOING TO DIE”

So at this moment I think of my father and what he taught me. I proceed to stomp on his foot and elbow him in the gut then face. But he must have been on something because it didnt seem to phase him. He semi-drags me up the street and I scream on the top of my lungs and he puts his hand over my mouth. Before I know it a woman rushes out her house and turns on her pourch light and yells ” WHAT THE HELL IS GOING ON OUT HERE”. He lets me go and jets up the street as I fall to the ground. She rushes over to me and askes if I was ok. I was crying my eyes out and told her I was ok. I call the cops and then call my boyfriend and his blood was boiling he rushed right over and said he will find the dude that did this since he knew everyone in the neighborhood.

Note to all: Never walk around without pepper spray and or a knife, keys. I lived and I learned and I got a knife and know how to use it when needed. Ever since that “brain fart” I never go anywhere alone, day or night without my handy dandy knife Watch yourself ladies.